It is hard to believe that Thalias would have been four years old today, it seems time has just disappeared. Yes, a lot has happened over the past few years-but it truly seems like she couldn't have been FOUR! I guess when you don't hold the child in your arms yourself, it is hard to ever imagine them truly living their life and aging. Asta was actually conceived on my due date with Thalias-April 20th. So the date holds many feeling for us! Now that Asta is born, I cannot even imagine HER growing up either!! It seems like just yesterday she was 7 lbs 7 oz, sleeping all day and I was saying "awww....she is such a good baby! she only cries when she's hungry and never fusses over a dirty diaper" Boy has THAT changed! Now, she screams if she isn't being entertained non-stop and nurses constantly! She wears me out! She will be 15 weeks tomorrow, and it just shocks me! People talk about her growing up and crawling and walking, and I think "No! She's just a baby!" It doesn't even occur to me that she will get out of the "baby" stages and become a toddler, preschooler, a kid, then a teenager and adult! Today my father-in-law just about made me cry when he said, "Before you know it she will be curled up on the couch reading Teen Magazine, and if she is anything like you sipping her Diet Coke!" I was thinking, "She can't read!!! She can't drink pop!!!! She won't grow up!!!" But ready or not, it's coming. Not that every year won't be special in it's own way, because it will. It is just hard to imagine her having a mind of her own. And with the personality she has now, that scares the heck out of me!!! I look forward to Aaron coming home and meeting her, Asta and I are going to get all dolled up for the occasion! Dresses, nail polish, bows in our hair, the whole shebang! I cannot wait until Halloween, Thanksgiving, Julaften, New Years--all firsts for her. But especially Julaften, it is such a special time for us. We were going to go home to North Dakota for it, but the more we think about-ticket prices are high, and honestly we would rather be together as our own family for the first time. If guests want to come, we would of course be happy to have them, but we need to be "home" because it is a rarity for that to happen during holidays in the military. I have so many thoughts buzzing through my head right now. I don't mean to push Thalias away, because that is how I am sounding. But when I think about all the "missed" birthday parties and celebrations, I can't help but look forward to those spent with Asta.
And speaking of Asta and babies, we are trying to decide on when to plan for the next. Aaron says, "I don't want one immediately, but I just want to let whatever happen happen." I said, "Well, I could get pregnant right away." Since usually when Marines come home, they breathe on their wife and it's like they are magically pregnant--so many due dates trace back to the night they come home!! Anyways, he says he doesn't want to "actively" try meaning no ovulation prediction kits, having me sleep with three pillows under my bottom, etc. And I think he worries it might take a year to conceive like it did with Asta. Well, yes we were trying to conceive for a year, but Aaron was gone for 9 of those 12 months!! I figure if I get pregnant immediately after he gets home, they would be 15 or 16 months apart. Asta being born in January, and the next due in March/April. It is a tough decision. In an ideal world, I would like each of my kids to be two years apart-having them at 20 (well, I had Asta just 21 days shy of my 20th birthday), 22, 24, and possibly 26 and 28. It depends on our children's personalities!! If the next one is like Asta, and Asta continues to be this high-maintenance, I will stop at three for sure!!! As far as money goes, two wouldn't be an extra burden. Asta is cloth diapered, and those are all reusable with all of our next children, and they won't ever be in the same size at the same time for the sized diapers. Breastfeeding is another issue. I worry that conceiving when Asta is less than six months old, my supply could dry up. But I have also had great luck taking fenugreek when I get my period, and depending on the safety of it during pregnancy I could take that supplement and just load up on extra calories. I am also concerned that for some reason breatfeeding might not go so great with the next one. What if it doesn't? Formula is expensive! I just cringe when I see the ads in the newspaper for it! Asta is exclusively breastfed, are my chances of being successful with the next one as likely? As far as things like insurance and housing go--as long as Aaron is in the military, we are well taken care of. I stay at home, but he still has at least three years left in the Marine Corps and more if he reenlists. He is also currently going to college for free, getting a bachelors degree in aviation maintenance management from Embry-Riddle. And he will eventually get his Masters in it. He wants to follow in my father's footsteps someday, and be an airworthiness inspector for the Federal Aviation Administration. Anyhoo....I suppose I should make my way to the point of all this--Aaron desperately wants to be there for the birth of our next child. By having one within a year of him coming home, our chances of him being there for the birth and baby's first months are MUCH greater than if we waited. This topic has been weighing heavily on me, and I just can't seem to pick a side. I mean, Asta is almost four months old-I have raised her on my own as a young infant, and despite how fussy she can be I have really taken great care of her. Not once have I let this deployment get me down, I haven't once cried over Aaron being gone. I have just carried on for the sake of our whole family. Not to say it isn't hard, which is why it would be nice to have Aaron there for the transitional period of bringing another newborn into our home in the next year-but I'm just saying if I end up having to go it alone again, I know I can. Well, if you can offer any insight on this (well, Meryl, I think you are the only one who reads this anymore) I would really appreciate it. I have a couple months to decide, but I want to be 100% certain I am making the right decision.
I better sign off for now, because my daughter is sleeping peacefully in her crib next to me. If she is sleeping, I better be too! Not much else is new, we are just busy trying to find a home in Oceanside, and making other 'end of the deployment' plans. As of a couple days ago, Aaron has been gone for FOUR months!! They are expected to come home around June 25th through 27th, so hopefully they won't get extended!! I will update again soon with new pictures of Asta : )
Asta Marielle is here!! She arrived January 8th, at 1:44 PM. I didn't think her name would be so difficult, but everyone is really struggling with it! It is pronounced Ah-Stah Mah-Ree-Elle. I was induced at 8:00 AM, was in hard labor for about three hours and pushed for less than 30 minutes!! I had an epidural, but it only took to my left leg and upper abdomen--the anesthesiologist came back to fix it, but it was too late to do anything. Still pretty sore. I went to the doctor yesterday, and they think the obstetrician may have sewn a nerve into my episiotomy stitches. Asta has blood incompatibility jaundice, but her bilirubin levels are finally going down. I was holding her while she got her foot pricked at the Children's Clinic yesterday, and started hemmoraging right there. It was so embarassing and scary at the same time! It soaked through my pants and socks and shoes-and I was standing in a puddle of blood. They thought it might be a retained placenta, but my hemoglobin levels were still at a safe point-so they didn't want to rush into a D&C. Sure would be easier with Aaron here, but my parents have been very helpful!! Breastfeeding has been going pretty good. She started out with a great latch, but lost that quick. It was so painful, so I gave up and started using a breast shield. I use it with every feed, because she sucks SO hard. The nurses and lactation consultant all winced when they saw how hard she was sucking. So, I'm just going to stick with the breast shield for now. I have also pumped on occasion, when she doesn't want to eat and my milk starts to pour out--I just don't want to waste it!! She takes a bottle great though, and transitions back to the breast without even thinking about it. I love her so much, and can't wait until my pain is dealt with-hopefully soon! They just don't quite know what is wrong yet!! Aaron is very anxious to meet her when he comes home from deployement! Hopefully in the first week of July!! Right now he is in Okinawa, and will be going to Korea in a week-then to Singapore, Hong Kong, and Thailand. He says he would give anything to be back home with his wife and daughter-instead of being across the world! He made a video of himself reading four children's deployment books to her before he left, so she watches/listens to those before going to bed every night-so he will be familiar to her when he comes home. We also talk together on webcam, and Aaron really enjoys seeing Asta moving about on the camera. Well, I should go. I'm taking hydrocodeine for this pain, and I'm feeling a bit woozy!
14NOV07 At 31 weeks+6 days, I had another ultrasound to check on our daughter's development! She seemed right on track, they didn't address any concerns on the spot. Although I believe she is going to be a BIG girl! She is 4 lbs and 5 oz. Her head circumference is measuring at 34 weeks+6 days, and abdomen is measuring 33 weeks! Yet....her femur is only measuring at 31 weeks+5 days!! Yikes! My amniotic fluid levels looked good too. She gave us a good view of her nose and lips again, but the woman didn't print us out a picture-so I am pretty bummed about that. It's funny that the male ultrasound technicians print out ultrasounds like it's cool, and the female ultrasound technician didn't give me a since one! Very disappointing. We also found out that Aaron's deployment date is scheduled earlier than we last heard. He is set to leave December 18th, which will mean he will miss the birth of our daughter. This doesn't make me support the war on terror any less, I will not abandon that. I'm not some weak sheep that is just going to go with the flow and not support our troops and our Commander in Chief because something didn't work out in my favor. I am proud to be an American, proud to be the wife of a United States Marine. Semper Fidelis, LCpl Lien.
31OCT07 Due to some complications, I will begin Non-Stress Testing (amniotic fluid measurement, fetal kick counts, contraction monitoring, blood pressure, etc) at 34 weeks. I will go in at 32 weeks for another ultrasound, just to check on her development. Also, if I haven't delivered her yet-I will be induced no later than January 3rd, at 39 weeks. Of course Aaron is hoping for a December 31st delivery, so we get a tax break. She is measuring ahead, still big for her gestational age. No wonder why I'm not gaining too much weight, she is taking everything I got!! Everything else is going great, the thrid trimester here has been the easiest-less complications to deal with. I haven't shown any more signs of pre-term labor since that night in Labor and Delivery for seven hours. She is very active too, which is always relieving-even at three in the morning. It is sounding like there is a fairly good chance Aaron will still be here for the delivery, which would be ideal. I hate to see him leave, but the sooner he leaves the sooner he will be coming home. I just hope the baby and I will both be there to attend the send off, and I cannot wait for homecoming! The baby and I will visit him when he is in Okinowa if he is there long enough for some visitors. We are very anxious for this all to be over, so we can settle down again in a home together-as a family.
13SEPT07 This morning I woke up when my alarm went off, in quite a bit of pain. When I peed blood, I figured something obviously wasn't right. My first assumption was kidney infection, so I called Aaron-and he came home from work, and took me into the emergency room. I went to check in and they sent me to labor and delivery. It took them 2 hours to determine that I had no infection, and the diagnosis was blood in my urine-obviously...it was bright red and that is what I came in for! So we were sent to radiology to get an ultrasound. There, they couldn't find any kidney stones-but they noted that my maternal renal artery stenosis had not improved, since I was diagnosed with it when I was 5 weeks+6 days pregnant. Basically, the baby is pinching off my ureters so fluid is backing up into my kidneys after it has already filtered through. I will go back in for a follow up appointment on Monday, and hopefully the kidney stone will have passed by then. Then, they will determine if it is necessary to put stents into my ureters so the baby cannot collapse them so easily. That would be painful, I hope I can avoid that. The stone had made it from my kidney through my ureters to right above my bladder, before I felt much of any pain-so hopefully it won't be bad. Luckily, when you are pregnant-the extra hormones in your body relax all of your blood vessels and arteries. This makes it easier to get bladder infections, but hopefully that also means they dilate enough to take some pain away from passing a kidney stone! They prescribed me Vicodin and sent me on my way. So now it is just a waiting game, and I'm hoping it goes okay. I have heard from multiple people that passing a kidney stone hurts worse than child birth, but maybe it will pass easier since I am already pregnant! Apparently only 1 in 1500 women get kidney stones while pregnant-how did I manage to be one of these?! After all of these complications in my pregnancy, nothing will surprise me anymore! I am very thankful for my husband's shop though, they sent him home today to take me to the hospital-and we were there for six hours. Then one of his Sergeants just gave him the day off tomorrow, so he can be home with me-this way, he will be with me until Monday when I go to my follow up appointment. So many Marines in his squadron have called Aaron to check up on me and see how I am doing tonight, I really appreciate it- they are all so sympathetic, and they really made me feel a lot better about everything.
28AUG07 Last night around midnight, our baby girl decided she was going to try making an early entrance into this world. I went into pre-term labor, and was having contractions for about six hours. Luckily they subsided, and my cervix never did dilate-so she is still sealed in the womb. Throughout the whole ordeal, she never went into fetal distress-so that is something to be very thankful for! She is 1 lb and 0 oz right now, so there would have still been a small chance of survival-but her lungs would have been weak. So after being on bedrest for 15 weeks of my pregnancy, we had the fetal anomaly scan-that diagnosed my subchorionic hemmorage as being healed and I no longer had to be on bedrest. Now, at 21 weeks-I'm back on bedrest again. So I guess it is back to cross-stiching, embroidery, and sewing projects all day long! It's okay though, we want to do everything that is best for this baby! We waited so long for her, we would do anything for her.
21AUG07 Today was our fetal anomaly scan, and we are relieved to report that everything looks perfect! Our daughter is healthy as can be, and the best news we got-the subchorionic hematoma has completely healed! She is measuring bigger than her age. She was exactly 20 weeks today, and the average weight is 10 ounces-she was 14 ounces!! She shouldn't be 14 ounces until 23 weeks, so she is measuring ahead-which is great! This way, since I am high risk-if I have to be induced early, she will hopefully have some good weight on her! It was fun seeing her again, although she wasn't cooperating while the ultrasound technician was trying to print pictures-she kept looking away and covering her face with her hands. This was finally our last appointment at the Camp Pendleton Naval Hospital! They are horrible, it is a training hospital-and they don't have a clue what they are doing, even the doctors there are so....I don't even know what to say! So for the second half of my pregnancy, I will be going to Vista Way OB/GYN-and delivering at Tri-City Medical Center.
04AUG07 Today we had the first session of our Double the Fun package at the Ultrasound Experience! We got to meet our beautiful baby girl! She slept for the first few minutes of the ultrasound, but we poked and prodded her-and she finally woke up! We had to keep poking her to keep her awake, and she started to punch and kick me. Aaron says she is like her mommy, since she is so grumpy when you wake her up! She is a big girl for being only 17 weeks+4 days! I have added the pictures to an album on here, and will also be adding her first video! Our next ultrasound is on August 21st at 20 weeks, and our next 3D/4D ultrasound is going to be between 28 and 30 weeks!
05JULY07 Today we had an obstetrician appointment, Baby Lien has a strong and healthy heartbeat-which is always a relief to hear! We have to follow up with a Geneticist in San Diego, because I am a carrier of hemophilia-which could be passed on to our son or daughter. We have an ultrasound on August 1st, and if it is in fact a boy-precautionary measures will have to be taken in Labor and Delivery when the time comes. It sounds like if it is a boy, chances are the doctor will order a cesarean section-because the birth canal may end up being too traumatic for a baby with hemophilia. Kinda scary stuff, but I think it will all turn out okay. Luckily this came up now, so we can deal with it head on before delivery-instead of while I am in labor. My OB told me today that his uncle is a doctor at MeritCare in Fargo, and that he himself did his residency there!! We also started our baby registry today at Babies R Us, and the woman working at the Baby Registry Station-is from North Dakota!! And it was just crazy, because I know one of her relatives fairly well! What are the chances? It is such a small world. Anyhoo...August 1st, we will have a new sonogram and hopefully know the gender of our baby!
31MAY07 After a long year of trying, we are finally pregnant! We started trying on April 23rd, and we conceived a year later on April 20th!!! I am 8 weeks+4 days pregnant, and I am due January 8th, 2008. Our little peanut! It is 1.82 centimeters crown to rump, and has a heartrate of 156 beats per minute! I had to go in early, because I had some spotting-and worried that I was miscarrying again. After my third ultrasound, the radiologist saw a blot clot on my placenta-so apparently that was the source of the bleeding, and my doctor said she wasn't concerned about it since I had stopped bleeding. Anyhoo, here are the sonograms!
